Destroyment	7 up, 2 down
	1. What comes out of your brain when your incapable of saying the word destruction.

My Shelf is full of things that aren't mine

My Shelf is full of things that aren't mine.
I have a set of Worrows I borrowed from Kline.
I've got dribbling metal cubes, which spill randomly around 1pm.
A shrine I took from a pancake factory that is dedicated to a guy named Peter Mosely.
I've got a row of F7 keys I gathered from a local scrap yard AND a signed copy of Mighty Ducks II.
Sometimes I wonder how its ended up this way whilst listening to my lookalike audio books.

The Caramel Pond

The sign simple Reads:
The caramal pond
Stood in the centre of a park made of grey,
The cameral pond gloops here,
Like a hot pot of clay.
Caramac Lilly Pads and banoffe bug towers,
Rolo twisted water banks,
And toffee apple flowers.
~
It does stick out among all this grey. Is it natural?
It's a golden brown colour and it's shimmering.
Its weirdly organic.....except....
I can see a half eaten copy of Kevin Costner's auto-biography near the entrance.


Costner's face on the front page has been replaced by a picture of the Cadbury's Caramel Bunny. 
I can also see a pond Skater, he's in big trouble - what the hell was he thinking?
Like so many others, this is too wierd to sum up - I'm tuning back into normal.  

The Morrisette Trial

William Galfinnan was arrested in the early hours of yesterday morning for repeatedly defacing the lyrics to the Alanis Morrisette classic "Ironic".

The court heard several eye witness accounts which claimed that the defendant, Mr W. Galfinnan, crassly posted alternative versions of the globally acclaimed hit song on his blog "http://www.firingmrt.blogspot.com/".

The court heard the following exert:

And isn't it slightly Kubrick...don't you think
A little Stanley Kubrick...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like puddles of half eaten diiiiice on a half bent day,
It's the liquid priiiiide that you just didn't drink
It's the homo-erotic connotations that Corrination street brings
And Who would've thought... Lions have ATTITUDE!

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on Pike
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you catch pike.

The case continues.......

The French Knee Maker

Belico Diver was French. Well, he knew a guy who's Auntie went to chess club that was run by a bloke named Aidy Petit, but still.

Belicio also had an amazing gift. He made Knee's for a living. He discovered his knee crafting skills whilst Kiaking in Mumbai where he concocted a mixture of powdered river, night, a single droplet of Mumbanian Nockle Root and finally, Tesco value Jam.

After a few tweaks, Belicio's formula became a village hit and soon spread nationwide. He had given hope to millions of patients from Scunthorpe to The Pillow Islands and was awarded the key to the city of Checkers, Bampton UK.

Belicio has 5 sons - Cone, Luker, The sign , March Dancer and Wilf and is happily married to Veronica (aka my little china doll). They live in the So region in Pars, France.

The Lemonade Renegade

There's a balanced banana on top of the microwave.

Not inside it.

Edward Vinegar.....Check. Carl McCombland.... Check.

The slinky clock above the fridge reads 10:48pm. It's getting on.There's a long trip to Stoke-Newington in store tomorrow, so now's the time to make some hot Chocolate and slink off to the bedded pads.

11:36pm - The book entitled "The Lemonade Renegade" sits on the bedside table.

Laying. Awake. Is that a crack in the ceiling? A fine slither of light manages to poke it's way through. It travels across the rooms outline - up into the corners and along the skirting board. Up along the window sill and around the door frame. The light is now piercing.

Hello?

The light is now piercingly white  and it's coupled by the faint sound of "Don't go breaking my heart" by Elton John.

Simultaneously the seam of the cracks completely shatter to reveal the light behind it, as well as an outline of....is that....nah....is that what I think it is.....?

A Man with white vans for hands!!

Mr Norris Thung

He lives in a house 3 stories tall,
A bell made of butter is how most people call.
He has exactly 3.5 friends, who he names by number,
Per.5, peter and a large guy named Zumba.

I'll happily describe him in few little words,
Tall, see-through and appreciated by nerds.
He owns a worried fish called Ken and a dog called glasslung,
I proudly present the ever changing world of Mr Norris Thung.